These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty

About six months ago, we hired a new person to work at the front desk. There are two people who work up there, and one of them has a long, storied history of drumming others out by manipulating, bullying and generally being difficult. She does this thing where she will withhold key elements when teaching someone how to do a task, then acting befuddled when they aren't able to do the task. The new hire ... lacks social cues is the best way I can describe him. Absolutely cringy facial expressions, over-laughing for no reason, etc. I think maybe he's trying to mask what he thinks is customary mannerisms, but it's extremely off putting. He also seems very, very infatuated with the boss, which makes everyone uncomfortable.

That's problematic at a "face of the office" position, but the bigger issue is he's also a bit unsophisticated. I have no idea how he got glowing reviews, but the man does not grasp basic office skills. Can't work the copier. Has to be told twelve times what something means only to not have any idea what it means. It's a bad fit, and I don't think there's one person who thinks otherwise except for another coworker who is 1) never physically in the office and 2) is remarkably similar to him in her inability to read the room.

Anyway, on Tuesday the OG front office person was openly badmouthing the newbie to anyone who would listen. This isn't new behavior. But she made it clear the gloves were off. I was in the bathroom, which is adjacent to the lobby area and I heard very loud shouting. I thought maybe it was a client. Nope. Apparently OG came up to grab the ringing phone and transfer it to her desk, when Newbie said, "If you're sick, you shouldn't be touching the phone and you should wear a mask." OG touched the phone, forwarded the call, took the call and then ... went up to Newbie with a finger in his face and yelled at him because he said that when a client was in the office. He told her to shove it up her ass. She departed again to try to cool off, but something must have happened because she again entered the space, coughed directly on him and said something like, "I hope you get this."

Yeahhhhh. OG is on administrative leave. Newbie is, I think, feeling victorious. Which I don't think he should be because he is not performing well on any front that I can tell.

Oh, and also? The boss has been on vacation all week, so another manager who happened to be present to have meetings with her staff (different department) had to deal with the incident reports, yadda.

To be frank, I think BOTH of them should be let go. OG because of her very long history and Newbie because he is incompetent. But who knows what will happen. Ugh.


Totally unrelated - started a rewatch of Supernatural which is on a streaming platform and they replaced all the original music with fake rock. It's awful.

Anyone want a card? I honestly can't remember if I even asked last year and can't bother to go look. Comments screened, so drop a note with current address if you'd like a tangible bit of holiday cheer from me. Reciprocal cards are not mandatory or expected so don't let that stop you.

I only use my powers for good, so your names, addresses and any personal details will not be sold or traded away. Pinky swear.

You know, I know I could benefit from therapy. It's been a bit of a year - The Incident. losing Johnny, Walter being what I thought was sick-sick, losing my nephew. All of that plus my primary perimenopause symptom seems to be extreme irritability all the dang time = a whole lot of blah.

Anyway, that blah keeps me from engaging quite a bit. Here, there and everywhere. I have been snapping a few snaps here, there and everywhere.


^Went for a quick hike on a nice day in September.








^Back in MN and after Mason's funeral, I made it out to my sister's house for a little visit with her and my dad. They stayed overnight in the Cities for the internment, so I had the place to myself for a bit. Twas lovely watching the sun come up and the birds flitting around.


^Sums up how I've been feeling these past couple of years.


^Another squirrel who posed so nicely.


^Of the cats, Hank spends the most time in the window I specifically put in for them ... but none of them do it as much as I'd hoped. I need a comfier bed in there. Maybe self-warming.


^Deer really like asian pears, btw.


^Had to take a mental health stop after driving down the coast a bit to visit a client; some people are more difficult to work with than others and she's at the top of my list. Imagine trying to reason with an octogenarian who has the mentality of a toddler. I don't mean that disrespectfully. She literally threw a tantrum.

That's just a few from the last couple of months.

Took Friday off. It's been raining almost nonstop since then. My basement is flooding. I suspect the patio is to blame so I may need to have a professional come tear it up and re-install for me, because I clearly didn't do something right.

Halloween is just around the corner. Office voted on Willy Wonka. Eh. It's fine. Been using that as an outlet. Hopefully it turns out. Someone with ADHD is in charge and she's very ... determined to be perfect. I myself like Halloween in office as a team building thing and her attitude kind of kills it for me. Or, y'know, the blah. Maybe both.

Okay, that's it for now. Hope all three of you are well. ;)

In late July, my laptop started BSOD repeatedly. Wouldn't even stay up long enough to troubleshoot, so I took it to the doctor. Where they had it for an entire month, then ultimately said no fix. She's just dead. Which is fine, but A MONTH? Then they tried to sell me a "all the bells and whistles" laptop. I passed, got a new one and then had to take IT in to get the brains from the other one dumped in. No, I wasn't real good at backing up. Anyway, THAT took over a week to do and then they charged me. Yes, they held my data so they could take my new laptop hostage for a week and then make me pay. LOL.

So, that happened. Other stuff did too.

Like - after 15 months since contract signed, I GOT MY WINDOWS! It was not without additional WTFery (they did not check all windows were delivered until a month prior to install and guess what - they'd somehow missed one), but now I have a home with an actual cross breeze. I've been cool as a cucumber ever since. It's awesome, I'm so happy it's finally done. I got the trim all painted as well. Guess what? I now have windows that open far enough I can lean/sit out and paint without having to borrow tall ladders, etc. I did have an incident where I dropped a full gallon of paint onto the ground. It was a bit calamitous.

Another thing that happened was about three weeks ago I noticed Walter was off. We went for a walk on a Wednesday evening and he barely wanted to go. Though he's nearly 12, he's still quite spry, so this was unusual but not alarming. The next day, though, he was suddenly unable to walk down stairs. He just fell right down them, listing heavily to the left. He zig zagged around, going one direction then acting befuddled and walking back the same way we'd come, couldn't curb walk. It was honestly so upsetting that I cried the entire walk. Took him to the vet the next day. I suspected strokes. It sure seemed like it. Vet said strokes are actually very uncommon. It was either something to do with a disc in his neck ... or a brain tumor. The plan was to give him pain meds and anti-inflammatory meds for a week and go from there. If the meds worked, slipped disc was Dx. If not, tumor.

Thankfully, the meds worked. He's almost completely back to normal. He did have a slight reversion to being a total butt to other dogs. Part of that may be I switched to harness, which makes him feel like he's the leader of our walks. Boss man feeling his feels.

That's been how things have been for me. Let's not discuss the absolute dystopia that is the US. I can't bear it.






^This was three days prior to him going all wonky - it was a lovely, meandering walk with him off leash for at least two miles. That's a lot for him, usually we only manage short bursts before other dogs are around.

I feel like if one's goal is to root out fraud in programs, the actual solution isn't scorching the earth and hurting countless people unnecessarily while also padding the coffers of the already uber rich. I know that the problem is that fundamentally there are a lot of people who resent anyone who "hasn't worked for it" the way they have and they feel no compulsion at all for sharing wealth. As for me, since way back in sociology class in high school (which I don't think is even taught anymore) I have always felt that if everyone can have some and I have enough to give without genuinely harming my own welfare, then why get so bent about sharing? You can ensure that others are taken care of as well as still leading a comfortable life yourself. No? Anyway, a great many people would rather not do that, I guess, and to top it off also look down on anyone who perhaps hasn't made the same choices or experienced the same opportunities...

That is all. Go, 'Murica? Sigh. And for saying that, I'm undoubtedly viewed as unpatriotic. Compared to the guy defacing the American flag by sewing a "don't tread on me" flag to the back and waving it proudly from the back of his big ass truck that I followed home last night, I guess I am. Haha.

June photos, a little late.


^My neighbor finally sold her house. She had wanted to sell it furnished, but the buyers did not want her stuff, so she was cleaning out. She had a beautiful turquoise sofa she was trying to get rid of, perfect for my small guest room, so I took that and set my ratty old futon out for someone to grab. It sat for almost a week, then finally disappeared one Thursday. On that Saturday, I was on my morning walk at the middle school when I looked up and... Yes, that is my old futon. I laughed so hard.


^Two of the goslings from May, at that awkward stage.


^Walking one morning, Walter and I went up on someone's property for some reason - he has never pulled me that way before. This deer and another had been grazing in someone else's yard and followed us. They got within 3-4 feet. I am guessing they had a fawn stashed and they were ready to fight us if needed. Walter was oblivious to them.


^Speaking of fawns...

It's been bittersweet, though, because a couple of weeks ago, again on morning walk, we came across a fawn on the sidewalk. It was clearly ill. We don't have any kind of wildlife rescue for deer, so I had to call the police, who had to put it down. I cried that day, and the next when I found the cop hadn't even removed the body or put it somewhere (there was a copse of trees and blackberries near he could have put it), but it was down at the bottom of a hill. Either tossed down or a bird of prey came to try to carry it away. I cried even harder at that. I should have done what my instinct told me and went home for a box and brought it home to die and receive at least a respectful and peaceful resting spot. :(


^Stunning.

I also had a couple of emotional setbacks in June from the January incident. My trauma buddy said she's still working through it too.

What a month. The position I vacated has been filled, but my replacement is in training so I have been doing both my old job and my new job since February. February was fine. March, the program that position focuses on went live and it's been a poop show. For a while this last month I thought I was going to lose my mind.









Also, I have already noticed that grocery prices are on the rise. In conjunction with that, the local chain has done away with their formerly routine "buy five things, get a dollar off each item" promotions. That seriously used to save me a bundle.

I'm not sure the nightmare's ever going to be over.

As I work trying to keep Roy's weight up and to get him hydrated so the random peeing outside the box stops, I finally decided to give in and put boxes where he usually does this instead of just putting down mats and reusable pee pads. Rather weary of cleaning up puddles. Because I have a cat poo munching pooch, I also decided to spring for cat boxes that are hidden in furniture. I know they won't keep him out as he's the size OF a cat, but placement... I thought placement would have prevented snackage. The box in the living room is in a corner, slid in next to a bigger freestanding electric fireplace. I left what I thought was a narrow enough gap between the pieces and crossed my fingers.

Last night, as I was busy putting together the second furniture piece I wandered back into the living room to find Walter shimmying out from inside the box, licking his chops. ARRRRRRRRGH. I did suspect, as there was a teeny trace of poo the night before and none of my cats do anything but go all in with pooping. LOL. I scolded him but good and bopped him on the nose (which I regret), and then brushed his teeth vigorously (which I do not regret).

I moved it and now there's a 4 inch gap. Little turkey will probably still make a go at it.

Also, same said turkey just coughed in my face and a chunk of popcorn flew out of his gaping maw and splattered onto my nose. DOGS ARE SO GROSS WHYYYYYYYY.

https://youtube.com/shorts/y1CoZ2U3SMo?si=yuNXVeDzhFiaaYVx

Okay, so I don't watch much TV anymore but I do put on nonsense stuff if I like an actor. I've liked Joshua Jackson since his Dawson's Creek days and so I will watch Doctor Odyssey. It also has Don Johnson, who I also enjoy. It's total garbage and full of ridiculous plots, like Love Boat but sleazier.

This week was "Sophisticated Ladies" week on the cruise ship and let me tell you this: the three guest ladies all have clearly nipped, tucked, filled or frozen their faces to the point they all look fine until they try to talk or emote and then it's a reminder why I just can't get behind cosmetic toying with faces to "combat" aging. They were: Shania Twain, Donna Mills and Jaclyn Smith. I'm sure others find them all to still be stunning ladies, but all I can see is how their faces are ... stiff. Bits are unmoving. It looks like it's hard for them to enunciate words.

Ironically, yesterday at work my most plastic coworker was raving about the lady who did all her fillers to another coworker, who apparently is thinking about some intervention. She has the same frozen face thing going on and for the life of me I don't know why anyone would want that. Maybe they somehow don't see it because they only see their face when still, not speaking or emoting. Do I like the big crevasse between my eyebrows? No, but a lifetime of RBF made it pretty inevitable. It's part of who I am. And who I am is well into middle age, tiptoeing toward being eligible for senior discount Tuesdays at the grocery store. No amount of injections is going to change my biological age, and I feel like we'd be so much better off if we could come to terms with aging as part of living instead of treating it like a disease. Hate to break it to you - you're not going to win against it, and fighting it so hard generally results, in my opinion, in making you look worse. I focus on getting sleep, stretching, using sunblock, staying hydrated, and strength training and am trying to go into it as gracefully as I can.

For the record, the plastic coworker chronically talks about how she hates this, that or the other thing about her body as well. It just makes me sad. What a waste of energy.

I guess I'm just a judgy B. Do what you want with your faces. I just do not get it.

As it turns out, time flies both when you're having fun AND when you are hoping your reality doesn't turn fully dystopian.

Took yesterday and today off. Wish I had known the fam was going to do a party for my dad, who turns 85 on Sunday. I had asked about it late January and got a shrug in response. Late last Sunday sis texted group and said, "Hey, if you can come out this weekend, Dad would love to visit." Which is par for the course with my family. Because I'm just not able to drop everything and book airfare, pet sitting, etc with a six day lead unless it's a dire emergency. Plus, also, I'm annoyed that I specifically asked with plenty of time to get there without selling a kidney to do so and yet ... six days notice. My brother, who makes 3x what I do and does not have to worry about any live creatures residing in his home, is of course able to get there. Wanh-wanh.

Family. Can't live with 'em, can't push 'em off a cliff.

Unrelated, yesterday I discovered my right eye is bruised. Pretty decent sized, too. It doesn't hurt and I've zero idea how it happened. Maybe it's not unrelated. Maybe it's a manifestation of my feelings about the paragraph above.









We actually had two full days off due to snow in Feb, and multiple late starts. Exciting! It has now reverted back to maelstroms, then sunshine, then maelstroms. Tra la, life on the Pacific coast.





Walter wanted to get this little fellow, but I think it's a Columbian Pocket Gopher, which are apparently pretty scrappy and I don't think it would have ended so well for the W.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Last night, I was cuddling with The Pickle, Roy and John all piled on. At about 9 PM, John leapt off me onto the back of the sofa and I could tell instantly something was wrong. Her hind legs weren't working. She didn't exhibit any symptoms of pain, but she didn't want me near at first. I called my vet's after hours emergency line - what a joke. Got a message, and never got a return call. Only help was 90 miles away. I chose to just try to keep her comfortable and moving as little as possible.

Brought her to work with me, called vet at 8 AM. They had an emergency slot at noon, so off I went. During the day, Johnny had been able to walk a little bit but was obviously still compromised. I hoped for a pinched nerve, though in my heart of hearts I knew it wouldn't be that. Especially so after the vet tech was done gathering details. I could tell by her tone. She likely had heart disease and something else underlying - she has been steadily losing weight despite being fed amply, etc. Vet said she could not see a clot, but often with heart disease they happen and it seems likely that is what caused the paralysis. I could have done ultrasound of her heart at cardiologist, tried blood thinners but it was not likely to help for long or at all. She could throw another clot at any time.

I couldn't do that to her or myself. I already can't get the image of her dragging herself around out of my head. So I had to say goodbye to my sweet babyface angel John. I am grateful to have had one last night of snuggles (for which I was awake the whole time, btw), and I had told her that if she had to go it was okay. I think she knew. I wanted to be a coward and flee the building, but I stayed with her. She gave me over fourteen, wonderful years. I owed her that. It was incredibly hard, and the poor staff there - I had a hardcore trauma dump all over them.

Holy shit, I miss her.