These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty

It's not cool if you

A) Explain the LGBTQ box on the card you are making me fill out is a [Metropolitan Area] term that means gay

B) Say "I'm sorry if I offended you..." by saying that.

and

C) Say, "Why can't I get a 'straight' box?" with a jolly, "It feels like I need special treatment like 'them'."

D) And also? "I'll live next to anyone. Just don't throw your stuff in my face..."

Ugh. At a workplace meeting. Yes, mentioning that fighting for rights equal to those you have always had is somehow seeking special treatment is a problem for me and I will call you out on your bullshit. And try not throwing your bigotry in my face and I'll live next to you too, mmmkay?


Another unrelated no:

"Online reviews." I know that the online marketplace is a different world, but I don't leave five star reviews for brick and mortars for adequately doing what they advertise themselves to do and I'm not leaving them for you. Returning to your marketplace to do business is my positive feedback. That is the only pat on the back you are getting.

This mostly stems from the barrage of "You haven't reviewed XXX yet!" emails that are sent. Can I review you and say how annoying I find it to be begged for feedback?

One more unrelated no:

No, it's actually not okay with me that you let your dog poop on my yard and don't pick it up. If you are walking them and they have to climb up stairs to get to my lawn, you are willfully encouraging them to use my yard as a toilet and I hate you and your ass face for it.

As if that wasn't bad enough, letting your dog shit on the sidewalk on my property leading up to my house ... I am beyond angry now. Poop. In the middle of my sidewalk. And on top of the landscaping.

What the shit? Literally.

It's not okay that I have to spend potentially thousands to get a fence up just to keep YOUR DOG's FECES off of my property.

Example one: "When he was just about to plunge a knife into Rico's abandon, Rico swiftly took a step to the right..."

Example two: "But Sebastian had given him strict orders 'not to close an eye', and he was determent to follow them."


Kids, just because you don't get a red squiggly line underneath a word doesn't mean it's the right one to use. Sometimes it's not even close, and words mean things; using the incorrect one can change the meaning of your sentence. Also see the classic definitely/defiantly flub, about which I've nearly reached the "toss my hands in the air and give up" stage.


Full disclosure on the examples above: they were not the story's only, or worst, transgressions.

It snowed enough to stick last night, so there we were - masses of bus stop refugees taking to the streets because walking down a steep, slippery hill beat standing at a stop waiting for two hours.

I love snow. I love Seattle. But I am so fucking tired of "it's just Seattle, you have to expect it" as an excuse for shoddy transit service due to one half of one inch of snow on the ground. I'm so fucking tired of people stampeding onto buses and off of buses and generally stinking. I'm so fucking tired of drivers being jackasses about it all, when they know damned well the longer one stands out in cold (for here) weather the more likely one is to be McBitchy about any little thing. Like a driver shutting the goddamned door on someone. Like seeing multiple "to terminal" empty buses zipping around while we're huddled like cattle at 4th and Pike, where the wind blows up from the bay like an icy, invasive hand.

It's not that I care if I'm an hour late for work, really. It's the dealing with all the other people out there I hate.