These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty

I signed a contract for my window replacement project late May with a promise of an update in about six weeks. No update came. In fact, no contact came at all and I finally attempted to reach out about three weeks ago. FIVE emails and one more pointed text later, I got a "gosh, I'm sorry - something's going on with personal issues and I just can barely function. Sorry for the unintended disrespect, we'll touch base with you next week for scheduling."

Next week was ... this last week, and no communication yet again. I had such high hopes these folks wouldn't turn out to be typical County Where I Live contractors. I should really have known. I put a deposit down. I was told end of summer for completion of project. I'm about five seconds away from either demanding that back or the windows themselves and then finding someone else to install.

Grumble.

In more personal issues type news, my boss officially announced her retirement for the end of October. One of my colleagues applied for the position and I need anyone out there to please put forth vibes for him to NOT get it. Nice enough guy. Total diva and a nightmare waiting to happen should he ever get into management. I don't want to work under him. Oy vey. I AM interviewing for a different position, but don't anticipate getting it. It's not 100% what I want anyway. We'll see.

Pickle does not have a UTI, right, so if she's peeing she's just being a brat. Roy, though, his bloodwork finally came back and he has mildly elevated kidney numbers. He is entering early stages of kidney disease. He and Johnny both have been very thirsty lately, sucking all the water out of their food first, etc, so I assume she's in the same or similar condition. I am not surprised, but I am sad to think about it. I've ordered a bunch of low phosphorus food for them to eat, and hope they like it. Why the H is that stuff so much more costly than most food - I don't feed super high end, but definitely have focused on quality for years. Also, if many cats get kidney problems as they age, why are we not just always feeding them low phosphorus food? That should be the norm, no? Anyway, here's hoping that they like some of the non-prescription options. The prescription food all, frankly, looks like junk to me.

May as well switch the other two cats to this diet too. They're 9 and 8, so not young either.

Earlier this week, police were dispatched to a grisly scene at an apartment complex about half a mile or so from my house. Walter loves to go sniff around in the courtyard areas - it's not a great place to live, and the people are ... unsophisticated. There's lots of junk and stuff for him to smell, so he loves it. Turns out that a man shot his wife and then himself. Horrible. It's actually the second scenario of that type to happen in my town this year, though the first was more of a suicide pact than a murder/suicide. And of course Walter wanted to linger there a long time this AM. Now it's just even creepier to me, so we'll be putting the kibosh on that from now on.


^A rare moment of closeness, but those ugly ol' windows. Ugh.

I just caught Stargate, the movie, on and had it on to half watch while I did other stuff.

Man, young James Spader was a stone cold fox.

Thank you, that is all.

At the shelter right now, the cats are getting hit with upper respiratory infections and intestinal parasites. They're pretty much all quarantined. A call came out last night for a short term foster for three kittens, two of which have the URI. I raised my hand. They are super cute, but 1) not super socialized and 2) not feeling well. The one who isn't ill is the spiciest little nugget, too, so I am not getting much snuggling in yet. Names are Hoover(f), Roomba(f) and Dyson(m).

As expected, my own cats are displeased. I knew they would be. It's okay, these little kitties couldn't go back to the shelter, and there have been so many kittens and fosters this year no one else was immediately available.

My goal is to win these little suckers over.


^Hoover, adorable and distrustful.


^Roomba, sweet and sick


^Dyson, handsome and scrappy

that goes all the way to China.

Ingrid went back to the shelter yesterday to wait for her forever home. I didn't want to keep her, it would be a very bad idea considering the escalated levels of "must pee everywhere I am so mad!" from two of my other cats...but I miss her something fierce. I went to visit her while I was walking dogs, and she was huddled and scared in the back of her kennel. It broke my heart. She came out for me for some love. The shy ones are always the ones that touch me the most. They get overlooked by the more outgoing type consistently, which only then makes them more and more shy. :( I would love to foster again, but I don't think I can while I have these angry pee cats.

I continue to be checked out at work, which I know means I have got to figure out how to move on.

My brother and sister in law are set to visit today so I have to get to cleaning up the house a bit. This all stems from me being passive aggressive at Christmas, when my brother was telling stories of visiting my nephew (lives 2 hours away from me). I said, "Yeah, funny that. I never know you're in the area till you're already back home." I have no stones to throw, though, I rarely see my nephew as I am too lazy to drive up there. Anyway, this time they texted me prior to visit to make a point of meeting up. LOL. Catholic guilt. I may have given up that faith half my life ago, but that is one tenet that has stuck with me, I guess.

It should be a sunny day, which is good. We're heavily fogged in this AM.

Okay, bye!

I went in to check on Ms Ingrid this morning, litter box cleaned, food and water topped off. No concerns. I napped an hour, then went back in and sat on the futon. She's been tucked under there again to start, but comes out. She did not come out. I heard a little peeping noise. NOT AN ADULT CAT CHIRRUP.

Hit the floor with a flashlight. Girl done went and had more babies. Two again not alive (I am concerned one of them may have been initially but she was some distance away from Ingrid so maybe not), and one scrappy little buff boy screaming for food! I am monitoring to see if maybe she'll take to this one otherwise he will be joining Fergus in the incubator. I don't think she'll nurse him, as she was very wanting to not let him out of her sight but also not nervous or hissy to me at all. In fact, she wanted pets and love to the point she ignored baby if I was there. I've left her alone for a bit to see what she'll do and if he hasn't found a nipple will take him over for some syringe feeding and incubator time with Fergus and another kitten from another litter whose mama decided he wasn't worthy.

Whirlwind! I halfway suspected something was up yesterday as she was bleeding a LOT and I worried that maybe she had more stillborns she hadn't been able to birth. Didn't expect her to have any, at the same time. LOL. The plan was to take her to the shelter for the vet techs to check her out, as animal control didn't think she needed a full vet visit. Uff da. People who foster regularly need major props. This not easy stuff.

No babies yet. I think somewhere something was lost in translation - apparently the vet refuses to spay abort a pregnant queen if she's going to give birth within 2-3 weeks. They made it seem like Ingrid was going to deliver any second when I picked her up. Uhhhh, nope. No indication at all that birth is around the corner.



Meanwhile FOUR MORE pregnant cats were turned in. I genuinely don't think people can conceptualize the consequences of letting unfixed cats roam free, even when you give them hard numbers. We have no trap, neuter, release program here, but we're working on it. It's so needed. Such a cycle: people complain about the cats, but they also treat them like second class pets and don't care when they disappear and don't bother to spay or neuter, which then creates the cats they complain about. Ugh.

Another manager gone. It was a weird week. There was a big party, at his request. I was unable to attend, as I had a prescheduled meeting out of town the day of, but apparently there was an awful lot of smoke blown, several other colleagues skipped it altogether and either manager was completely oblivious to the feelings of staff, was totally aware of feelings of the office and chose to be weirdly over the top with his gratitude for how they were all amazing as a means of passive aggression, was totally aware of feelings of the office and chose to take the high road out. I dunno, but I genuinely think he is an amazing person but NOT a manager of people. He would have done very well managing the building and property.

The executive director of the agency today announced her retirement. The plan is for her second in command and the third in command to assume co executive director roles, which is... well, let's just say the atmosphere isn't going to get much better and could get worse as the third in command is someone I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw her and she's a large statured person - so, not very far. I will say that both of them at least are a bit more personable. Current ED is, of course, capable and intelligent. But she has never been a warm person, and employees have been "staff" and not humans to her, or at least that has been the impression. The whole atmosphere of the place changed nearly immediately when she took over, and it has become a place we all dread going to instead of one of the best places to work.

Case in point, I joined a team two years ago to administer a new program that is finally rolling out. After two years. It opens on Monday. To date, I have zero training and there are zero processes in place. But next week I will see my first person and attempt to enroll them on this program. Without training and with no process to follow. Training "is coming", they assure us. WHAT. I actually wanted to apply to revert to my old role, which was financial eligibility, for this new program specifically but the job openings for that were "only available in Salem" though that job can be done ANYwhere. Very frustrating, because though I like case management, the eligibility side is where my true strengths lie.

Lord help me, I'm trapped where I am. Salary and benefits too high. A job recently opened - executive director of the local senior center, which I think I would really like but the salary is a full $30K less than I make, the duties are greater and there are NO insurance benefits at all. That's precisely the market I am in. So, despite the agency being a dumpster fire - I can't go anywhere.

Anyway, who cares? Mostly just wanted to get that all out.


^Took this in April. It was put up shortly after the State of Arizona did something stupid, but I think perhaps they got some negative feedback because it didn't stay up long.


^I don't know why I really like this sign.


^Forest for the trees. This was on the Cathedral Tree Trail, which means nothing to you - but I decided on this walk down it that we need to start dropping off gnomes or trolls to hide along the path.


^Looked up one day and this little cutie was munching on the shrubbery right outside my window. Stayed there a good long while, too.


^Self explanatory.


^For the life of me, I can't remember where I saw this guy! I feel like I must have deviated from my usual walks, which you'd think I'd remember doing. Nope. Brain totally blank.

Earlier today, a heron I have named Reginald who frequently flies between marshy spots near the office landed on our back lawn. We all watched him stare intently on the ground. The spring rabbits are about around now, so we worried he was going for one of the buns, but after a few minutes he lunged and caught a juicy, fat garter snake. It was gruesome and being the softy I am, I felt bad for the snake. But oddly proud of Reginald as well as he flew off with the snake writhing around. I, of course, did not have my camera! Sigh.

I can't seem to find it in me to care about anything lately. Walks are boring. Yardwork projects I was gung ho about...meh. I suppose this is indicative of some minor depression (I still get out of bed, I still go to work, I still do the things. I just don't care about them). Not sure the root cause, how long it's been building up or anything like that. It's probably the whole "not getting the job I wanted and know I'd be good at" thing - coming to terms with that, and I truly know in my heart it's for the best due to conflict with the manager of that role. But it still niggles, y'know? I know I need to do something about it, even do a trip or other self care. But I don't care about that, either. Round and round we go.

Still, I haven't that much to complain about in the grand scheme.

On the plus side, and this will sound terrible, a former client passed away this week. This little lady was very interesting, but the better part of five years had been locked in a tiny room with a horrendous, neglectful daughter who abused her financially as well. The last four months of her life we were finally able to get her removed from that situation and into somewhere which provided her the comfort care she needed. And her religious beliefs prevented any medical intervention, but she was fed, cleaned and visited with at last. Because of the religious beliefs, her body was in terrible shape. I know she must have been so uncomfortable. I am glad she's no longer going through that. Yes, it can take that long for abuse to be stopped - this lady consistently backed her abuser's behavior up, making it impossible to intercede. Often the abuse is substantiated and never dealt with - just reported over and over and over. Especially when it's family. Humans, ugh. Some of us are despicable.

On another plus side, again will sound terrible, yet another former client didn't not pass away but finally moved out of county. Thank goodness! We had no resources for her here, and over the years I had tried to suggest a move to her over and over, and she never received it with the intent given. I don't know what the impetus was to finally get her elsewhere, but am glad for it. Partially selfishly, because she was very mentally ill and I had become her latest target to badmouth to anyone who would listen. She kept telling people I colluded with a former landlord that evicted her of stealing a possession of hers. Not something that happened in reality, but she sure believed it. Now she can just be telling people who have no idea who I am, or will find a new transgressor to take my place soon enough.

Also earlier this week, I walked a block on the main street through town and realized that one of the formerly vacant* buildings had been renovated and one of the stores is a very stylish boutique with global fare. I went in, found some lamps made to look like jellyfish and now I want to completely redo my decor to match that theme. Seriously, they are beautiful! My house is currently all beiges and tans. Yawn. I could do a whole beach theme. The outside is already seafoam green...or maybe just the bedroom. Because those lamps are $$$ and I can't afford to replace everything. Haha.

*True story, there was a family who owned a fairly large chunk of the downtown area. They apparently had severe hatred for this town due to being mistreated in high school, so they purposely held onto these buildings and let them fall into disrepair. For forty years. A few years ago, the last one died and the city was finally able to do something about it. Downtown is reviving now. If I could afford it, I'd do a cat cafe down there. Or a cat pilates studio (for people who'd rather play with pussies than do pilates). I actually always wanted a candle shop called It Makes Scents, but what with those things now triggering headaches it'll never happen.

Boy, I am rambling. I had an energy drink this AM - I only get them when I get a free one from Safeway through their rewards program - and it really wired me. BOING.

Oh, AND - I have found a show called Cheap Irish Homes and now I want to sell everything, buy a derelict old stone bungalow or cottage in Ireland, rehab it and live in the countryside. Preferably near water.

Last week I had a spring cold. The achy, fevery days were Friday and Saturday. Friday I powered through mowing lawn. Saturday I took ibuprofen and had caffeine, so I somehow finished the lawn, lay down new cover for the greenhouse, edged the front walk BY HAND WITH A UTILITY KNIFE, walked four miles and then decided to pull up the pavers in the ill-constructed patio I built last year. I still regret not listening to both my head and my body then - I should not have done it so soon after getting hit by a car. I was not physically able to do it right, and I knew I had not dug deep enough.

Sunday last was spent flat on my back, ruing the amount of activity I did on Saturday.

Since I started the project and having discovered I have been inadvertently giving my vacation time back to the agency (it caps at 300 hours and I am often near that), I took today off to continue working on the patio redux. In my head, I thought I could pound it out in about 4 hours. Pause here for riotous laughter. I am but a small-statured woman, and though I have been doing strength training, I am not that strong. I did about five hours and got 90%, so there's that. Tomorrow I have to finish up leveling the base the best I can, replacing the gravel and paver base and then the pavers themselves. I'm tired just thinking about it, though of all of it, it's the leveling that makes me most tired. I am no good at it. It'll be better than it was before, but I don't expect perfection.



While I busted my back, Walter soaked up some rays. What a life! He also walked me four miles. I am VERY tired.

Finally got to the bank. In March, I spoke with my auto insurance agent and said, "look, I have been a loyal customer for ages and I do not understand why that and the fact I have an excellent driving record isn't taken into consideration with my rates." I may or may not have accused them of gouging. Because, seriously, I drive my car to and from work, and that's really it for the most part. I should not be spending $100/month. They re-rated and it saved me $50/month. Long story short: had a refund check to deposit. Since receiving that, I also got another "we charged you a copay and we shouldn't have" reimbursement from the local hospital - from a YEAR ago. FOUND MONEY. Yay!

Unfortunately, all but $15 of the auto insurance check will go to the plumber.

Time for a night of lounging.

The night before and last night we had inclement weather. Like, actual thunder and lightning to go with the sideways rain. It was cozy being inside listening to that. I loved it. Today? 10 degrees warmer and sunshine. I also love that.

I took yesterday and today off, mostly because I had to use of some time or lose it to the agency. Yesterday was poopy all day, so I indulged in binging random stuff. Today, went to the grocery store and home improvement stores.

Bought some seeds, planted them in my little starter kit as nothing in that germinated at all except the dill...which I actually seeded with my own seeds from last year. Haha. Then I went out with the intention of readying my garden beds and weeding the general areas. Ended up instead noticing a big ol' patch of brown, mostly dead moss. It's a weird patch I have in the dead center of my back yard. Ugh. So I decided to rake it up real quick. An hour and a half and copious amounts of sweat later... It's kind of half raked? I dunno. I have some moss killer but I hate using chemicals where Walter goes and rolls around, even the "safe" ones. The plan is to plant some clover and hope it 1) works and 2) doesn't get eaten by deer before it can work. I won't mind them munching on it once it's rooted.

No weeding done. No garden prep done. The chickweed this year, my word. It's out of control. Did notice, though, that some lettuce butts I stuck in the ground last summer are actually producing right now. And the radishes I planted will now never go away. And I don't even like them. Haha.

Also walked down to a reclaimed goods/junk store about a mile from home. I hardly ever get there, which is good as I'd be much poorer! There's always something there worth getting. I found two good size metal tubs to plant things in and put along the house once I dig the border, a 2 quart vintage Pyrex casserole dish in a very pretty celery green, and some actual local honey. I've already taken some of that and will keep on, hoping to add to my arsenal of weapons against the allergies. Very spendy, but hopefully well worth it.


^On the way to the secondhand store, a frequent weekend morning stop and one of a very few places I feel safe letting Walter off leash. What a little cutie pie.

Cut four inches off my hair last weekend. Decided I wanted to go for a more a-line lob, so off went another inch today.

The person I wanted to get manager of my office got it, so now I gotta brush off my resume to go for her job. There's something scary about going for something new, though, isn't there? The last time I did it wasn't scary, as I had been working so closely with others in the role I felt very sure I could learn quickly. Fingers crossed!

Enough rambling. I am so exhausted. Oh, wait, one last thing - lunch was panic-prepared. I was out and about about an hour past when I usually eat and was so, so hungry. Made an egg with broccoli, cauliflower and cottage cheese, seasoned with za'atar and a little salt, put it on a toasted english muffin. OH. MY. I can't say it wasn't because of my hunger, but it was the best sammich a gal could have asked for.