superbadgirl | Recent Entries

My first true love Stargate: SG-1, along with my second true love Supernatural. With very small sides of NCIS, Simon & Simon, Emergency! and Hawaii Five-0 (reboot).

Stargate SG-1:
Most of my Stargate stuff can be found on The Comfort Zone. I'm far, far too lazy to post individual links for each story. Sorry!

My SG-1 stuff can also be found on Ancient Musings.

Snapshots. J/D slash, PG to R, a series of scenes in Jack and Daniel's relationship.
For Every Action, Gen, H/C (Daniel), teamfic. R. S2. Ten parts total - 45,000 words. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
The Leavers Dance, Gen, Angst (Daniel), Tag to Heroes I&II. R. S7. @11,550 words. Daniel seemed all right at first, but dealing with the loss of Janet Fraiser wasn't as simple as that.

Supernatural:
( I'm not that prolific, but I think the list is long enough to put behind a cut )

NCIS/Supernatural crossover:
Out for Blood. Gen, Angst, H/C. R. S4 NCIS. S2 Supernatural. Nine parts. Someone from Dean and Sam Winchester’s past comes back to haunt them…and while they're at it, they also haunt a member of the NCIS team. (It's Tony.)
Deja Vu All Over Again. Gen, Angst, H/C. PG-13. S7 SPN, S9 NCIS. 29000 words. Tony DiNozzo is in an eerily familiar situation, and his fate is yet again in the hands of two felons who have died multiple times, on paper and in reality, since he last saw them. And one of them terrifies him more than the monster.

Simon & Simon/Supernatural crossover:
Don't Judge a Book. Gen, crossover, casefic. R. S4 Simon & Simon. Preseries Supernatural. @33000 words. Rick and AJ Simon are on what they think is a routine case when something ... not routine happens. Their whole perspective has to shift to accommodate the Winchester family and all the scary things that entails.

( Emergency! Gen )

( Emergency! Slash and Het )

( H50 Slash and Gen )

Last week at work, maintenance was out to reconfigure our office - we have outgrown the space and are hiring three additional positions with nowhere to put them. In building and also in parking area. We are supposed to serve the public, only when fully staffed there will be only the handicapped parking spots available. The solution for the inside - shrink the cubes. According to the building manager, we should be grateful. The new agency standard is 6ft x 6ft. We're "lucky" and they only shrank ours to 6x8. They literally have been sawing desks to fit into these small spaces. It all started with desk sharing/removing all personal items...it's all pretty aggravating. The worst of it is the entry to the cubes are so wide there is NO privacy and I can literally hear my neighbor as if she were standing right behind me. Which she basically is.

Long story short, I have been annoyed by that and last week as it was happening maybe a little stressed. I took a trip the the ladies room last Thursday, where I used the handicapped stall - I usually do. I flush with my foot and can stand to the side. It gives me a glimmer of a hope I'm not getting splattered with pee water. The set up is flushing lever on the left side of toilet and larger standing space on the right. I usually stand facing the right side of the toilet, flush with right foot by stretching a tiny bit to reach it. This time, my left foot just decided it was too sweaty to handle the tiny shift of my weight. The foot slipped and I teetered for a second, wildly attempted to stop the descent and ultimately failed. I went down hard to the floor. Back of head smacked the wall of the stall, but the brunt of the injury was to my tailbone.

It's been a week. The first four days were filled with a lot of muttered curses each time I moved. Should have been no sitting, but I did a little. Even lying on back was painful. Sneezes? OUCH. It still hurts but it's less sharp. I still shouldn't really sit on it, but that's easier said than done. I've done this tailbone stuff once before, though it was even worse then because it was actual surgical removal of pilonidal cysts after they kept getting irritated and infected. Boy, was THAT a fun time as a sixteen year old girl! Difference is now I'm not so limber so all this lying around is causing other pains. Ugh.

I had to report the fall, much to my mortification. The work comp form asked what could be done to prevent it from happening again and I had to write "I suppose I shouldn't flush by using my foot." My boss may have to post signs. And that, folks, may just be my legacy with my current employer.

It all comes up a week later here for the two of you to read (wink) because the MOST painful seated position is in the car and today I had to be in it for more than a few minutes, as I took Pickle to the vet. Since Roy passed, she's lost a noticeable amount of weight and is now about six pounds. Pretty tiny. She's also extra snuggly. Want to know how long an actual vet spoke with me for the visit? 1.5 minutes. $300 later...For the life of me I do not know why bloodwork is so flipping expensive. Still waiting for results, but suspect thyroid. She is extremely food aggressive to the point if I don't lock her out of the kitchen or take my eye off something, she goes for it. Even if it's a piece of cauliflower stem in Walter's bowl, or something literally cooking on a hot burner on the stovetop. the other week I peeled a hard boiled egg and let it sit for a second while I grabbed spices from the cupboard behind me and she had that thing half eaten. She's also a LOT more lovey dovey with me, which is not a terrible side effect but I'd rather her be her ol' spicy self and be healthy. She's cozied up on me right now.

Hi, how've you been? LOL.

Today when I was out and about, I walked through a small mall with an open seating area between shops. I was talking to one shopkeep, who had her foster teenager sitting outside of the shop at a table. A guy walks up to the obviously young girl and says, "I noticed you looking at me, do you mind if I join you?" I did not hear her response, but it was likely a confused no - because a glance in someone's direction isn't actually always a person flirting - as he immediately adopted a very put-out, angry and defensive tone as he blundered through a departure.

Makes me very glad that I've had resting bitch face my whole life. It might (partially) explain why I'm alone, but also? I never liked that kind of interaction.

Anyway, have some photos. Probably all I took over the summer. (Not true, a spattering more on Flickr than shared here.)

^Dude was just standing there.

^Killdeer

Other stuff: weather this summer has been very up and down. Just today it was both sunny AND rainy. The end result for me is almost nonstop headaches. I took three ibuprofen this AM and it knocked it back for about four hours. I'm fully back into the headache zone.

Still miss Roy very much.

September is a hard month.

They really are only marginally better than sudden ones. Roy has been fading for months, but I took him to vet on 7/31 to make sure his lack of eating wasn't something that could be fixed. A dental would have killed him. They sent me home with gabapentin, though I told them he was very unsteady. I didn't realize at the time that a side effect in cats is wobbliness. I vacuumed on 8/1 and Roy jumped from about three feet up and since he was on meds did not stick the landing. It was all down from there. He just could not recover and I know if I took him in immediately they would not have been able to help him in any meaningful way.

On Saturday, I told someone I just wanted Roy to come downstairs again as he was camping out upstairs only. On Sunday, he spent all day downstairs, then went back up and would not eat. Or move. Despite pain pills. Not even chicken baby food. I asked him if he wanted to sleep, and to be with Johnny and Abe. He vocalized for the first time in days. I had the okay. He managed to climb into bed with me last night, snuggled up close. I could feel him struggling to move at all.

We went in at 2 today for final services.

15.5 years is a long time. It's so short also. I will miss him always but am very happy he is no longer suffering.

Current Music: Videotape - Radiohead

Not that well, actually, but now I'm researching how to compost better to maybe actually have a garden that'll grow one day. I did produce five edible strawberries, some peas, the tomatoes are working on it and so are the carrots. I need to cover one bed, it's been taken over by purple sorrel. No matter what I do, that stuff. Ugh!

Unrelated. Kind of: Found this stool in a free pile, very worse for wear with wobbly legs and a hideous reinforcement tacked on. I have no before shot, but it was painted silver and chipped all over. I used it in that condition while I painted, but then did a bit of rehab on it:

Isn't she pretty? Alas, now she's far too cute to STAND on her. I am VERY artistic. Haha.

In other news, I think Roy is losing his teeth. His breath, already ammonia forward due to kidney disease, is absolutely atrocious. He's also less snuggly, I can see his hip bones and he turns his nose up at the food he should eat in favor of jarred baby food in chicken or turkey. I am not sure he'll live to the end of the year. I hate it, but he also moves very gingerly so it will also be a relief because he is obviously in pain. Doesn't matter how you prepare, it's gonna suck. He's been my boy for 16 years. Long time. Not long enough.

Man, I loved Emergency! as a kid and then rediscovered it years (so many now!) ago and still love it. I had a huge crush on Johnny Gage and to this day remember the snakebite episode as being so much more dramatic than it actually was. LOL, I was a hurt/comfort girlie from a very young age. My older sister became a nurse because of the show. I named my OG cats Roy and Johnny after Roy DeSoto and Johnny Gage.

RIP, Randy, you and your character shaped a lot of lives.

Went to the podiatrist on Tuesday because the Morton's Neuroma in my right foot has become increasingly icky, and the neuropathy in two of my toes even ickier. He was all, "So what has the treatment been?" I told him metatarsal pads and that's it. He then told me that the pads I was using were not good, and I wasn't padding where my foot needs padding. Huh. Well. The podiatrist that diagnosed me gave me none of that.

So, I got a cortisone shot to help the inflammation. Uhm. I am a cortisone virgin, and though I read the literature nowhere on the fact sheet did it say that I was going to be highly emotional (mad) for a day and a half. Seriously, it was like PMS on steroids. Which, coincidentally, I have been basically PMSing for 22 days. I am hoping this is the last hurrah, because it's been 22 days of daily spotting, and micro cycles. One day okay, two days cramping and absolute rage from hormone fluctuations. UNpleasant.

BUT - and this is a good but - I am now walking mostly pain free. It's not 100% better, I just can't tell if it's still lingering discomfort from the injection or the neuroma. I have a follow up appointment in July. Something the other podiatrist also never mentioned. Or maybe she did and I just don't remember. It was years ago.

I've also learned that while my right foot needs a shoe insert and a metatarsal pad, my left screams in agony at the same insert. I need to see if I can buy ONLY right inserts or pads. I can't be the only one with feet that have different issues.

Somewhat related, I accidentally caught a glimpse of the number on the scale. I could tell by my clothes I have put on weight - mostly since October, to be honest, though all of last year I was tailspinning a bit with food-as-comfort. Seeing the number, though. Ugh. So now I am working very hard to remedy the habits I have slipped into. At least I know what those habits are - I have to be better about eating when I am hungry, and not just because. Like, I will have a serving of "fluffy jello*" after dinner and then think, "well, that was low calorie, so I can also have a small bowl of cereal." and then also think "well, it was just a small bowl and I still have milk..." I wouldn't say I am a binge eater, but I definitely have some Issues. I can do it, though. I'm determined to be five pounds lighter at my next visit. The number ultimately matters less than how I feel, though, and I've been very uncomfortable lately. Even the sleeves on my shirts feel tight.

*I am partial to sugar free strawberry jello/jelly with half Zoi strawberry/half Zoi plain by the way. It is SO GOOD. It could be healthier, as the strawberry isn't exactly low sugar.

Life is moving on. I haven't been up to much. Unexpected things like a lawnmower needing replacement and then a garage door needing replacement set me back a few coins. The latter is fugly compared to the original that was there, but I will say I hadn't realized how much actual muscle I was putting into opening the old door.

I continue to repaint the interior of my house. All rooms. I decided the kitchen should be white from yellow (which is stupidly hard to cover - I keep finding hints of it peeking through THREE coats) with soft pink top cabinets and raspberry colored bottom. Anyway, did the cabinetry this weekend and as I was going through drawers to prep I found a bunch of old cards. Think: open drawer, toss in this thing to get it out of sight. One of them was from 2016, a birthday and a Christmas card from my mom that said, "I just had to send these to you because I knew you'd like them. Miss you LOTS and love you always."

And so I started bawling.

Then I found a little thank you note from my nephews Max and Mason and had another bawl because, man. Those boys - both so special. I don't think Max is doing much better as we approach six months since Mason died. I don't think any of us are, to be frank.

To round it out, found a paper bag with "Johnny R" written on it - the bag my vet put her container of ashes in.

I have indeed been weepy all afternoon.

Anyway. My cupboards, at least, are bright and cheery even if I continue to have bouts of melancholy. I think it's just been a lousy emotionally messy six or so years...

Hugs to anyone reading this.

Every time my sister sends a photo of Mason and Becca's marker, I bawl my damn eyes out. I worry for her, because if it does that to me how on earth is she upright and moving?

About six months ago, we hired a new person to work at the front desk. There are two people who work up there, and one of them has a long, storied history of drumming others out by manipulating, bullying and generally being difficult. She does this thing where she will withhold key elements when teaching someone how to do a task, then acting befuddled when they aren't able to do the task. The new hire ... lacks social cues is the best way I can describe him. Absolutely cringy facial expressions, over-laughing for no reason, etc. I think maybe he's trying to mask what he thinks is customary mannerisms, but it's extremely off putting. He also seems very, very infatuated with the boss, which makes everyone uncomfortable.

That's problematic at a "face of the office" position, but the bigger issue is he's also a bit unsophisticated. I have no idea how he got glowing reviews, but the man does not grasp basic office skills. Can't work the copier. Has to be told twelve times what something means only to not have any idea what it means. It's a bad fit, and I don't think there's one person who thinks otherwise except for another coworker who is 1) never physically in the office and 2) is remarkably similar to him in her inability to read the room.

Anyway, on Tuesday the OG front office person was openly badmouthing the newbie to anyone who would listen. This isn't new behavior. But she made it clear the gloves were off. I was in the bathroom, which is adjacent to the lobby area and I heard very loud shouting. I thought maybe it was a client. Nope. Apparently OG came up to grab the ringing phone and transfer it to her desk, when Newbie said, "If you're sick, you shouldn't be touching the phone and you should wear a mask." OG touched the phone, forwarded the call, took the call and then ... went up to Newbie with a finger in his face and yelled at him because he said that when a client was in the office. He told her to shove it up her ass. She departed again to try to cool off, but something must have happened because she again entered the space, coughed directly on him and said something like, "I hope you get this."

Yeahhhhh. OG is on administrative leave. Newbie is, I think, feeling victorious. Which I don't think he should be because he is not performing well on any front that I can tell.

Oh, and also? The boss has been on vacation all week, so another manager who happened to be present to have meetings with her staff (different department) had to deal with the incident reports, yadda.

To be frank, I think BOTH of them should be let go. OG because of her very long history and Newbie because he is incompetent. But who knows what will happen. Ugh.

Totally unrelated - started a rewatch of Supernatural which is on a streaming platform and they replaced all the original music with fake rock. It's awful.

Anyone want a card? I honestly can't remember if I even asked last year and can't bother to go look. Comments screened, so drop a note with current address if you'd like a tangible bit of holiday cheer from me. Reciprocal cards are not mandatory or expected so don't let that stop you.

I only use my powers for good, so your names, addresses and any personal details will not be sold or traded away. Pinky swear.

My nephew's wife was found deceased yesterday evening. It's so heartbreaking and I can't seem to wrap my head around it quite yet.

Watch on YouTube

You know, I know I could benefit from therapy. It's been a bit of a year - The Incident. losing Johnny, Walter being what I thought was sick-sick, losing my nephew. All of that plus my primary perimenopause symptom seems to be extreme irritability all the dang time = a whole lot of blah.

Anyway, that blah keeps me from engaging quite a bit. Here, there and everywhere. I have been snapping a few snaps here, there and everywhere.

^Went for a quick hike on a nice day in September.

^Back in MN and after Mason's funeral, I made it out to my sister's house for a little visit with her and my dad. They stayed overnight in the Cities for the internment, so I had the place to myself for a bit. Twas lovely watching the sun come up and the birds flitting around.

^Sums up how I've been feeling these past couple of years.

^Another squirrel who posed so nicely.

^Of the cats, Hank spends the most time in the window I specifically put in for them ... but none of them do it as much as I'd hoped. I need a comfier bed in there. Maybe self-warming.

^Deer really like asian pears, btw.

^Had to take a mental health stop after driving down the coast a bit to visit a client; some people are more difficult to work with than others and she's at the top of my list. Imagine trying to reason with an octogenarian who has the mentality of a toddler. I don't mean that disrespectfully. She literally threw a tantrum.

That's just a few from the last couple of months.

Took Friday off. It's been raining almost nonstop since then. My basement is flooding. I suspect the patio is to blame so I may need to have a professional come tear it up and re-install for me, because I clearly didn't do something right.

Halloween is just around the corner. Office voted on Willy Wonka. Eh. It's fine. Been using that as an outlet. Hopefully it turns out. Someone with ADHD is in charge and she's very ... determined to be perfect. I myself like Halloween in office as a team building thing and her attitude kind of kills it for me. Or, y'know, the blah. Maybe both.

Okay, that's it for now. Hope all three of you are well. ;)

Current Music: Exit Music (For a Film)

$superbadgirl: (fractal jellyfish)$

One of my nephews was struck by a car and killed while doing a bike ride for a fundraiser yesterday. He was one week shy of his 30th birthday, leaves behind his wife, his twin brother, his two sisters, his mother and father.

Please be careful when you are walking or biking. drivers do not see you.

Please hug someone you love today and tell them what they mean to you.

Watch on YouTube

In late July, my laptop started BSOD repeatedly. Wouldn't even stay up long enough to troubleshoot, so I took it to the doctor. Where they had it for an entire month, then ultimately said no fix. She's just dead. Which is fine, but A MONTH? Then they tried to sell me a "all the bells and whistles" laptop. I passed, got a new one and then had to take IT in to get the brains from the other one dumped in. No, I wasn't real good at backing up. Anyway, THAT took over a week to do and then they charged me. Yes, they held my data so they could take my new laptop hostage for a week and then make me pay. LOL.

So, that happened. Other stuff did too.

Like - after 15 months since contract signed, I GOT MY WINDOWS! It was not without additional WTFery (they did not check all windows were delivered until a month prior to install and guess what - they'd somehow missed one), but now I have a home with an actual cross breeze. I've been cool as a cucumber ever since. It's awesome, I'm so happy it's finally done. I got the trim all painted as well. Guess what? I now have windows that open far enough I can lean/sit out and paint without having to borrow tall ladders, etc. I did have an incident where I dropped a full gallon of paint onto the ground. It was a bit calamitous.

Another thing that happened was about three weeks ago I noticed Walter was off. We went for a walk on a Wednesday evening and he barely wanted to go. Though he's nearly 12, he's still quite spry, so this was unusual but not alarming. The next day, though, he was suddenly unable to walk down stairs. He just fell right down them, listing heavily to the left. He zig zagged around, going one direction then acting befuddled and walking back the same way we'd come, couldn't curb walk. It was honestly so upsetting that I cried the entire walk. Took him to the vet the next day. I suspected strokes. It sure seemed like it. Vet said strokes are actually very uncommon. It was either something to do with a disc in his neck ... or a brain tumor. The plan was to give him pain meds and anti-inflammatory meds for a week and go from there. If the meds worked, slipped disc was Dx. If not, tumor.

Thankfully, the meds worked. He's almost completely back to normal. He did have a slight reversion to being a total butt to other dogs. Part of that may be I switched to harness, which makes him feel like he's the leader of our walks. Boss man feeling his feels.

That's been how things have been for me. Let's not discuss the absolute dystopia that is the US. I can't bear it.

^This was three days prior to him going all wonky - it was a lovely, meandering walk with him off leash for at least two miles. That's a lot for him, usually we only manage short bursts before other dogs are around.

Not a bad flashback this time. For a change. Haha.

When I was a kid, my mother was a SAHM but she also had a bit of a cake baking/decorating hustle for extra cash. Totally self taught. She was pretty good at it, too. We'd reap the benefits of her baking - leftover frosting was abundant in our refrigerator and a common treat for us was graham cracker squares with frosting.

I just had lunch, had leftover frosting from a baking project and happened to score a discounted box of graham crackers at the grocery store. You betcha I put that frosting to good use.

It was as delicious as I remember it being as a kid. The bland dryness of the graham complemented by the sweet frosting is a really solid pairing. Highly recommend.

OH AND: I am finally, finally on the schedule for window replacement. Hopefully first week of August this is actually going to happen, a full year after promised.

I feel like if one's goal is to root out fraud in programs, the actual solution isn't scorching the earth and hurting countless people unnecessarily while also padding the coffers of the already uber rich. I know that the problem is that fundamentally there are a lot of people who resent anyone who "hasn't worked for it" the way they have and they feel no compulsion at all for sharing wealth. As for me, since way back in sociology class in high school (which I don't think is even taught anymore) I have always felt that if everyone can have some and I have enough to give without genuinely harming my own welfare, then why get so bent about sharing? You can ensure that others are taken care of as well as still leading a comfortable life yourself. No? Anyway, a great many people would rather not do that, I guess, and to top it off also look down on anyone who perhaps hasn't made the same choices or experienced the same opportunities...

That is all. Go, 'Murica? Sigh. And for saying that, I'm undoubtedly viewed as unpatriotic. Compared to the guy defacing the American flag by sewing a "don't tread on me" flag to the back and waving it proudly from the back of his big ass truck that I followed home last night, I guess I am. Haha.

June photos, a little late.

^My neighbor finally sold her house. She had wanted to sell it furnished, but the buyers did not want her stuff, so she was cleaning out. She had a beautiful turquoise sofa she was trying to get rid of, perfect for my small guest room, so I took that and set my ratty old futon out for someone to grab. It sat for almost a week, then finally disappeared one Thursday. On that Saturday, I was on my morning walk at the middle school when I looked up and... Yes, that is my old futon. I laughed so hard.

^Two of the goslings from May, at that awkward stage.

^Walking one morning, Walter and I went up on someone's property for some reason - he has never pulled me that way before. This deer and another had been grazing in someone else's yard and followed us. They got within 3-4 feet. I am guessing they had a fawn stashed and they were ready to fight us if needed. Walter was oblivious to them.

^Speaking of fawns...

It's been bittersweet, though, because a couple of weeks ago, again on morning walk, we came across a fawn on the sidewalk. It was clearly ill. We don't have any kind of wildlife rescue for deer, so I had to call the police, who had to put it down. I cried that day, and the next when I found the cop hadn't even removed the body or put it somewhere (there was a copse of trees and blackberries near he could have put it), but it was down at the bottom of a hill. Either tossed down or a bird of prey came to try to carry it away. I cried even harder at that. I should have done what my instinct told me and went home for a box and brought it home to die and receive at least a respectful and peaceful resting spot. :(

^Stunning.

I also had a couple of emotional setbacks in June from the January incident. My trauma buddy said she's still working through it too.

I got the 'vid AGAIN. I swear my immune system is now garbage. It never used to be. Pre COVID, I rarely even got colds. This is the third round since October. It just really goes for my throat, too. I've had variations of soreness for six days, with a couple of those pretty severe overnight. It's fine at daytime, but once I lie down it's like someone's shoved a handful of razorblades down my throat.

Anyway. Pretty sure I'm instantaneously impacted. On the 24th I went to pick up a friend at the emergency department - he's newly diagnosed with a-fib and had had an episode requiring care, and couldn't drive home. I had to go back into the unit to listen to the follow up orders, since he was doped up. When I got there, I got an, "Oh, btw, he tested positive for COVID." By the 26th I was feeling the sore throat.

Blargh.

^I have never seen goslings in the wild. They were so cute. Mama immediately deemed me a threat.

^Can't resist 'em.

^Not sure what this is, but it was kinda cool.

^You know, I miss her every day, but since Johnny died my house has been pretty peaceful. I wouldn't say the remaining three are besties, but there are so many less fights and often I'll find all three of them sharing the same window cushion. I guess maybe Johnny was a brat!

^No comment.

Speaking of windows, I signed a contract on 28 May 2024 with a promise of windows by end of summer. I ... do not have windows. And the abysmal communication continues. I emailed the contractor and said, "I feel I need to demand windows or my money back, please." The reply: gosh, sorry for not staying in contact. R's knee surgery recovery hasn't gone as smoothly as we'd hoped, we'll get to you in July."

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...

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superbadgirl

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One Day I Am Going to Grow Wings

Recent Entries

Master Fic List

What a pain in the rear

It's been a minute

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How does my garden grow?

RIP, Johnny Gage

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