I still think of people as friends who were my friends a long time ago--sort of like cousins I don't really see, but I still think of them fondly and if I saw them again I'd be happy.
OTOH, I don't really keep in touch with any friends from anywhere, really. My closest friend all through my teen years... Well, we really did drift apart quite a bit. Every few years we try to get in touch again, but the last time, it seemed like everything I said offended her. It had never been like that between us before, but I got the impression that she'd become quite...er...conservative or something. I'm not really sure.
We have some "family" friends that we are close to--really three other families that we've been stationed with a few times and that we consider like family to us. Even our friends who live in Michigan--I see and talk to them more often than I talk to my own cousins.
I haven't talked to my cousins on my mother's side since around the time I got married--so over 25 years ago. I haven't talked to my other cousins since my sister's funeral which was...uh...maybe 15 years ago? It's nothing bad. I just live far away.
When we first moved away, I used to send letters and things to everyone (pre-internet), but it was never reciprocated and once I had kids of my own I was too busy to send everyone letters and cards and things. They never sent any to me in the five or so years that I was doing that. I used to have my kids make cards and small presents for everyone, too, when they were little, but that was never reciprocated either. Now we don't even send Christmas presents to anyone but my parents.
I'm evil, I guess, but it's a lot of effort to keep up with people and when you're the one who left, everyone expects it to be 150% all your effort. Why didn't I go visit them when I was there? Because...uh...I was only there for a few days and I didn't have time to run around visiting everyone and their grandmother. I was busy taking care of my own kids and trying to make sure they had everything they needed while staying at someone else's house. Family...friends... It's all the same. *g* If I go visit my mom, I'll see my mom, my dad, my sister, and probably all of her kids will come and see us at my mom's house. So that's probably all that I'll see.
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carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2007-11-07 02:34 am (UTC)OTOH, I don't really keep in touch with any friends from anywhere, really. My closest friend all through my teen years... Well, we really did drift apart quite a bit. Every few years we try to get in touch again, but the last time, it seemed like everything I said offended her. It had never been like that between us before, but I got the impression that she'd become quite...er...conservative or something. I'm not really sure.
We have some "family" friends that we are close to--really three other families that we've been stationed with a few times and that we consider like family to us. Even our friends who live in Michigan--I see and talk to them more often than I talk to my own cousins.
I haven't talked to my cousins on my mother's side since around the time I got married--so over 25 years ago. I haven't talked to my other cousins since my sister's funeral which was...uh...maybe 15 years ago? It's nothing bad. I just live far away.
When we first moved away, I used to send letters and things to everyone (pre-internet), but it was never reciprocated and once I had kids of my own I was too busy to send everyone letters and cards and things. They never sent any to me in the five or so years that I was doing that. I used to have my kids make cards and small presents for everyone, too, when they were little, but that was never reciprocated either. Now we don't even send Christmas presents to anyone but my parents.
I'm evil, I guess, but it's a lot of effort to keep up with people and when you're the one who left, everyone expects it to be 150% all your effort. Why didn't I go visit them when I was there? Because...uh...I was only there for a few days and I didn't have time to run around visiting everyone and their grandmother. I was busy taking care of my own kids and trying to make sure they had everything they needed while staying at someone else's house. Family...friends... It's all the same. *g* If I go visit my mom, I'll see my mom, my dad, my sister, and probably all of her kids will come and see us at my mom's house. So that's probably all that I'll see.