superbadgirl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
superbadgirl) wrote2008-12-07 10:57 am
superbadgirl) wrote2008-12-07 10:57 am
Entry tags:
SG-1 Gen Fic: For Evey Action 9/10
Title: For Every Action
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
superbadgirl
Category: H/C with a Daniel slant, Team
Season/Spoiler: Very early S2
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,305 this chapter, 44,900 total
Summary: SG-1 wait for the fate of one of their own to be revealed.
Teal’c considered himself a Jaffa of action. He did not like when he was forced to do nothing, such as the case was now. Beside him, O’Neill sat nervously jostling a leg, the embodiment of the unrest he felt within. His friend had been uncharacteristically reticent since his explaining what had happened during his visit with Daniel Jackson. The lack of communication about the events only served to increase Teal’c’s own concern. It had been hours since he and Captain Carter had been summoned, and yet there had been no word from Doctor Fraiser and O’Neill was no closer to giving them more than clipped, one-word answers.
He knew they would all prefer to be at Daniel Jackson’s side, no matter what was truly going on. Teal’c suspected it was of great importance. Their friend should not be left alone when faced with news which would have a large impact on his life.
But Teal’c was left to wait, trapped with his thoughts all focused on one obvious thing. Human physiology was not a subject with which he was comfortable. In all honestly, his own physiology was unknown in some regards as well. He knew he could hear and see better than his companions. He knew the Goa’uld symbiote swimming within him allowed for these physical advantages. What he did now know was how the inner workings of his body were possible. So, too, he did not know what it meant for Daniel Jackson to experience sudden, and according to O’Neill, acute pain in physical regions he had felt nothing for some time. Captain Carter had speculated it might be a good thing, but her words were underlain with fear. Truly, Teal’c wished Doctor Fraiser would join them sooner rather than later, to confirm or deny Captain Carter’s conjecture.
“What the hell is the holdup?” O’Neill asked under his breath, standing with jerky motions.
“Doctor Fraiser’s probably just being thorough,” Captain Carter said, her voice again belying the soothing intent behind her words.
“Damnit.” O’Neill paced. “You didn’t see what kind of pain he was in, Carter.”
“Sir?”
O’Neill sat heavily, nervous energy gone as quickly as it had surged, returning to silence without answering Captain Carter’s inquiry.
This led Teal’c to believe the memories playing in O’Neill’s mind were extremely unpleasant. Tension radiated from both of his companions, and from within himself as well. Daniel was yet a mystery to him in many ways, but he felt there was potential for true comradeship. There had been. In his culture, Jaffa warriors did not associate with the crippled and infirm, solely due to social structure. A crippled individual could never join the ranks of a god’s army. There was no need for interaction. He did not know, therefore, where he and Daniel Jackson might one day have stood, or how his new home on Earth would lend to the situation. He was uncertain how it would proceed, if it would at all.
He wondered, too, how likely it was the Waters of Jurata would assist in Daniel’s physical state now, with these unknown added complications. Until Captain Carter broached the subject of alternative medicine with him, Teal’c had not considered Jurata’s reputation as a healer among the Goa’uld to be anything more than legend, stories from his youth. In fact, he had not considered such a thing as a remedy for Daniel at all. Now that he had witnessed his friend fall to an inexplicable ailment, he was and remained prepared to defend the risk of sojourning to the Goa’uld-occupied planet on which the Waters were located. If there was even the smallest chance it could prove beneficial, the opportunity must be taken.
The only other alternative Teal’c had thought of involved procuring the use of a sarcophagus, and that was already deemed too dangerous. General Hammond would not authorize such a mission, and he could find no fault in that. The people of the Tau’ri were as yet uneducated about the ways of the Goa’uld System Lords. It was right to err on the side of caution. Teal’c found that he was and would remain prepared to take up this risky mission as readily as he did regarding the Waters of Jurata.
The sound of Doctor Fraiser’s footfalls preceded her appearance around a far corner. She walked briskly, her heels clattering on the floor, and she was not alone. General Hammond was at her side, which surprised Teal’c, but pleased him. What did not please him were the expressions on their faces. Beside him, O’Neill and Captain Carter got to their feet as if their movements were coordinated. After a pause, Teal’c also stood, clasping his hands behind his back.
“I’d like you all to come with me,” Doctor Fraiser said without preamble. Her eyes were filled with emotion. “This will be easier to show you than to explain it.”
“Janet?” Captain Carter said.
“Follow me.”
Doctor Fraiser did not wait. She began walking away, as if so much depended on the speed of her gait.
Teal’c allowed the others to go first. Truly, he was conflicted. He wished to understand what was happening, but he was also very apprehensive to know. If he did not have the knowledge, then it could not harm him. His reaction was illogical and not customary for him. With every footfall, his unease grew. The room Doctor Fraiser led them to was stark. Large white panels were on the far wall, and they all moved to stand next to them.
“After Daniel began experiencing pain, we gave him a full body scan,” Doctor Fraiser said. She flicked a switch on one of the panels. It lit up. “X-Rays, MRI, CAT scans. Obviously, we hoped to determine the cause.”
“Yes, obviously,” O’Neill said, impatiently running a hand through his hair. “You found something. What is it, Doc?”
Doctor Fraiser pursed her lips, appearing more distraught than angry, however. Instead of replying, she picked up a film which was sitting on a small metal table. She lifted it up to the lit panel, securing it into place.
As one, every occupant of the room leaned closer. There was a small gasp, but then only silence, thick and heavy, hung in the air. Teal’c clenched his jaw, unhappy with what was so clear on the picture. He did not understand how something such as this could have been missed in prior examinations. Doctor Fraiser and her colleagues had done many on Daniel Jackson in the past weeks.
“Holy crap,” O’Neill said at last. “Is that what I think it is?”
“No,” Doctor Fraiser said. “I know it looks like it, but that is not a Goa’uld symbiote at any stage of maturity. It’s too small and it … doesn’t respond to stimuli.”
Beside him, Captain Carter made a strangled sound deep in the back of her throat. If Teal’c were prone to outward displays of emotion, he had no doubt he would be making similar noises. As it was, his whole being was tense as he stared at the image. The dark shape on Daniel’s spinal cord was thin. It appeared to wind around his vertebrae. It did indeed appear very much like a miniature version of a Goa’uld. He looked away, disturbed.
“What is it, then?” Captain Carter asked.
“It’s a tumor.”
“Cancer?”
“We don’t know for sure at this point. In fact, I’d venture to say it’s not entirely relevant,” Doctor Fraiser said. “Malignant or benign, the fact is this growth is pressing on Daniel’s spinal column. It’s squeezing, and is most definitely the reason for his paralysis.”
O’Neill cursed under his breath.
“I don’t understand, Doctor. Why wasn’t this discovered before now?” General Hammond asked.
The doctor sighed and shook her head. Pulling another film from a folder, she flicked on another panel and placed the new image up. The patient number in the corner was the only way to know this was a picture of the same person.
“This was Daniel’s initial scan,” she said.
“There does not appear to be anything unusual on it,” Teal’c said.
“No, there doesn’t. By all appearances, there was nothing on it,” Doctor Fraiser looked at the image with a frown on her face. “We had no reason to look beyond the first few scans. Everything was clean, and remained clean as we tested him. But when we first read the scan from today, I looked back at the old one more closely. You see this little speck?” She pointed to a spot his vision could barely discern. “I believe that’s the growth. I must have taken it for nothing, a flaw from the machine or on the film, if I even noticed it at all. I honestly don’t remember.”
Teal’c could see she blamed herself for missing something that had not been there. It was not his place to tell her she was incorrect. He suspected that even if he did, she would not accept it. He glanced at his companions, all of whom were in various states of shock. This news was indeed unfortunate, though he was not entirely certain how the doctors would proceed.
“You couldn’t have known,” Captain Carter said. “I still don’t see it, and I’m looking right at it.”
As expected, Doctor Fraiser shook her head.
“How bad is this for Daniel?” O’Neill asked.
“It’s not good, Colonel.” Doctor Fraiser winced as if O’Neill had struck her; he had done no more than look perturbed. “Daniel really has only a few choices. One, he allows us to attempt surgical removal, which is a very delicate procedure and could leave him permanently paralyzed. Two, we try a less invasive technique – radiation could shrink it, but it’s not a guarantee since we don’t even know what it is. The third option is that he doesn’t allow us to attempt surgical removal.” She ceased speaking, but dread was in her eyes.
“What would happen if he chooses that?” Captain Carter prompted.
Doctor Fraiser blanched. “In the span of two weeks, this thing grew from nearly invisible to the naked eye to the size of an earthworm. At this point, I can only guess it’ll keep growing exponentially if left untreated.”
“Which means what?” O’Neill thumped the metal table, sending it crashing to the floor. “We need specifics, here.”
“Which means without some form of treatment, Daniel will likely be dead within a month.”
“Oh, god.”
Teal’c had not even begun to accept his friend as disabled. He had a feeling processing this news would take longer than necessary, that instead of weeks he would have minutes or hours. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Captain Carter lean on the wall heavily, as if her world had become unstable. He locked his knees, knowing the feeling too well himself.
“Daniel understands the risks and has already made his choice. We’re prepping him for emergency surgery right now,” Doctor Fraiser said. “We only need to wait for staff from the SGC to arrive. Doctor Warner has the experience and the proper clearance, in case this turns out to be something more alien.”
Teal’c remembered the last instance Doctor Warner had performed a similar surgery. He looked at O’Neill, whose face betrayed nothing. Teal’c knew, though, that his friend would also be thinking of Major Kawalsky. It was not an encouraging memory, instilling no confidence in him.
“It might be best if you all take the opportunity to speak with him before he’s taken to the OR.”
“What are his odds?” O’Neill asked.
“We’re taking a big risk, sir, huge,” Doctor Fraiser said. “Daniel knows that this could mean permanent paralysis. He was already prepared for that. But this could also be … worse.”
“Worse,” General Hammond repeated. “As in…?”
Doctor Fraiser merely looked pained, giving a short nod.
“So, you’re saying not good then.” O’Neill’s brusque words did nothing to disguise the concern in his tone.
“I’ll take you to him.”
They went as a group, following Doctor Fraiser as ducklings would follow their mother. Teal’c had not thought it possible for the atmosphere to be grimmer than it had been minutes ago, but as they approached Daniel there was nothing but silence. As Daniel smiled at each of them in turn, Teal’c knew there was something he hated more than waiting and that was saying goodbye.
~~*~~
Jack considered himself a man of action. He didn’t like sitting around doing nothing but gazing at this navel and contemplating things that were truly too awful to contemplate. Worse, he couldn’t help thinking about the waiting game he’d played with Charlie. With both Charlies. Thoughts about those times only made his gut ache and his need for movement more intense. He told himself it was okay this time, because he’d gotten a goodbye, such as it was.
“I’m going to get some more coffee,” he said dully. He’d had six cups in the past six hours; he hadn’t even needed the first. “Anyone else want anything?”
Because food and drink was important to any of them at the moment. Carter shook her head, looking away from him as if trying to disguise her watery eyes and red nose. Teal’c just tilted his head, the Jaffa equivalent of a glare, Jack supposed, and resumed his trance-like state. He envied the guy. If Jack could put himself into a trance at the moment, he’d take it. Instead, he was forced to watch the clock. Every tick seemed like it was one less for Daniel in this world.
“I think we’re good, Jack,” Hammond said.
They’d long past the time for formality, and this was another thing that worried him more than it comforted him. He expected Fraiser and Warner to come out, covered in blood and with sad, detached expressions on their faces. Jack had seen it all before. He knew what was more than likely coming, especially after he’d cornered Fraiser and demanded to know hard survival rate numbers.
Twenty percent.
He told himself that Daniel had beaten those odds before. Daniel had been dead before, Jack thought, back when Ra had shot him on Abydos. On Apophis’ ship. A measly little lump of stupid whatever-it-was wasn’t going to take the guy out. Not when he really felt this team was gelling into a strong unit. Not when he really felt Daniel was already a close friend. Contrary, stubborn and wordy as hell, but a damned close friend. A month ago, Jack wouldn’t have even realized that.
He was at the coffee machine without realizing he’d made it all the way there. He’d even dropped in coins and punched in his order without knowing he was doing it. God, Jack couldn’t get Daniel’s harsh gasps of pain, the tightness of the grasp on his forearms, out of his head. The memories flip-flopped with Daniel smiling at them from his rollaway gurney, as he headed into the OR, so calm when Jack was so panicked.
Walking back to the waiting area, it was only when he arrived that he discovered he didn’t bring the cup of bad coffee with him. He found he didn’t care, sitting down on the longer of the two sofas. Then he blinked, and General Hammond no longer sat with them. Not only that, but there was early morning sun streaming in one of the corridor windows creating a bright, giant square on the floor. Jack sat up, muscles stiff. Across the way, Teal’c was looking at him, perched on a puke-brown armchair, goofy hat pulled down low on his forehead.
“Good morning, O’Neill,” Teal’c said.
“Right,” he said. “Daniel?”
“There has been no official word. Doctor Fraiser came some time ago to inform us Daniel Jackson was still ‘under the knife’. She did not wish to wake you.”
“Comforting,” Jack said sarcastically.
“Indeed.”
Grimacing, Jack ran a hand down his face. Carter was on the loveseat, sleeping. Her nose looked to be chronically red and sore. He glanced at his watch. They’d been sitting like useless lumps for ten hours, Daniel in surgery for nine of them, and he couldn’t say when he’d dozed off. He counted himself lucky that he’d managed rest at all. Those where minutes or hours he hadn’t been wracked with concern, and selfishly thought he’d needed them.
Twenty percent.
He knew every second they spent with Daniel’s back wide open on an operating table was a second lessening those odds.
“Hammond?”
“General Hammond departed for the SGC after Doctor Fraiser delivered her news. He instructed me to inform you to call him when Daniel Jackson is out of surgery.”
Right. The first thing he was going to do was find a phone. Jack’s thoughts were snarky, but he truly did appreciate Hammond’s dedication to his people. While the base’s operations clearly had to outweigh anything else, it spoke of the general’s character that he cared this much. The SGC was lucky to have someone like George Hammond at its head.
“I don’t suppose Fraiser said how much longer this could go on.”
“She did not.”
Great. Jack stood, aimlessly circling the small waiting area. He felt Teal’c’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t help it. Every time someone passed in the hall, Jack half-expected it to be Fraiser. It never was. Carter roused about fifteen minutes after Jack had awoken, sitting dumbly with her hair sticking every which way. Something about it broke Jack’s heart a little, having never seen her as anything but forceful in demeanor, a trait probably just as environmental as it was natural. Being a woman in any of the military branches wasn’t a picnic. But that didn’t really matter; he was simply distracting himself.
“Sir,” Carter said.
He looked at her. She was looking at someone else. Jack turned. Fraiser stood in the doorway, Warner directly behind her. Neither of them wore bloody scrubs. This wasn’t the emergency room, he reminded himself.
“Doc?” he croaked.
Fraiser stood there for a moment, exhausted and pale, and Jack’s heart was in his throat until he saw the corners of her mouth lift in a weary smile.
“He’s all right,” Carter breathed.
Fraiser’s smile dropped a hair. “He’s alive. We won’t know for a while yet if he’ll regain the use of his legs.”
Ah, shit. She couldn’t have let them bask in the good news before delivering the potentially bad? Jack scowled for a moment, but then found himself just glad to have Daniel alive. Before, so much had hinged on getting Daniel on two legs again. Now, there was perspective.
“When can we see him?” he said shakily, betraying his cool exterior and true feelings. He didn’t much care.
“You can see him now, if you like, though he’s quite groggy and probably won’t remember you were there. It’ll also have to be one at a time,” Warner said, pushing his way forward. “Doctor Jackson’s been through a long ordeal. I wouldn’t expect him to be aware of much for the next several hours at the least.”
Whatever. Jack didn’t care. He was going in, had to see for himself that Doctor Daniel Jackson was still among the living. He got to the door before he turned around. Carter and Teal’c smiled. Okay, well, Carter practically beamed, while Teal’c looked subdued and pleased in a totally Jaffa kind of way.
Warner escorted him to a room, where he had to put on a disposable gown, cap and mask. Precautions, Jack was told. He impatiently put up with the protocol, knowing in the back of his mind it was there for good reason. No amount of prepping beforehand prepared him to see Daniel, pale, on some kind of contraption that held him prone. But his arms and, Jack swore, his legs, fished around ever so slightly with weak, awkward movements.
“Hey, Daniel,” Jack said. “You’re going to be all right.”
to chapter ten
Author:
superbadgirlCategory: H/C with a Daniel slant, Team
Season/Spoiler: Very early S2
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,305 this chapter, 44,900 total
Summary: SG-1 wait for the fate of one of their own to be revealed.
Teal’c considered himself a Jaffa of action. He did not like when he was forced to do nothing, such as the case was now. Beside him, O’Neill sat nervously jostling a leg, the embodiment of the unrest he felt within. His friend had been uncharacteristically reticent since his explaining what had happened during his visit with Daniel Jackson. The lack of communication about the events only served to increase Teal’c’s own concern. It had been hours since he and Captain Carter had been summoned, and yet there had been no word from Doctor Fraiser and O’Neill was no closer to giving them more than clipped, one-word answers.
He knew they would all prefer to be at Daniel Jackson’s side, no matter what was truly going on. Teal’c suspected it was of great importance. Their friend should not be left alone when faced with news which would have a large impact on his life.
But Teal’c was left to wait, trapped with his thoughts all focused on one obvious thing. Human physiology was not a subject with which he was comfortable. In all honestly, his own physiology was unknown in some regards as well. He knew he could hear and see better than his companions. He knew the Goa’uld symbiote swimming within him allowed for these physical advantages. What he did now know was how the inner workings of his body were possible. So, too, he did not know what it meant for Daniel Jackson to experience sudden, and according to O’Neill, acute pain in physical regions he had felt nothing for some time. Captain Carter had speculated it might be a good thing, but her words were underlain with fear. Truly, Teal’c wished Doctor Fraiser would join them sooner rather than later, to confirm or deny Captain Carter’s conjecture.
“What the hell is the holdup?” O’Neill asked under his breath, standing with jerky motions.
“Doctor Fraiser’s probably just being thorough,” Captain Carter said, her voice again belying the soothing intent behind her words.
“Damnit.” O’Neill paced. “You didn’t see what kind of pain he was in, Carter.”
“Sir?”
O’Neill sat heavily, nervous energy gone as quickly as it had surged, returning to silence without answering Captain Carter’s inquiry.
This led Teal’c to believe the memories playing in O’Neill’s mind were extremely unpleasant. Tension radiated from both of his companions, and from within himself as well. Daniel was yet a mystery to him in many ways, but he felt there was potential for true comradeship. There had been. In his culture, Jaffa warriors did not associate with the crippled and infirm, solely due to social structure. A crippled individual could never join the ranks of a god’s army. There was no need for interaction. He did not know, therefore, where he and Daniel Jackson might one day have stood, or how his new home on Earth would lend to the situation. He was uncertain how it would proceed, if it would at all.
He wondered, too, how likely it was the Waters of Jurata would assist in Daniel’s physical state now, with these unknown added complications. Until Captain Carter broached the subject of alternative medicine with him, Teal’c had not considered Jurata’s reputation as a healer among the Goa’uld to be anything more than legend, stories from his youth. In fact, he had not considered such a thing as a remedy for Daniel at all. Now that he had witnessed his friend fall to an inexplicable ailment, he was and remained prepared to defend the risk of sojourning to the Goa’uld-occupied planet on which the Waters were located. If there was even the smallest chance it could prove beneficial, the opportunity must be taken.
The only other alternative Teal’c had thought of involved procuring the use of a sarcophagus, and that was already deemed too dangerous. General Hammond would not authorize such a mission, and he could find no fault in that. The people of the Tau’ri were as yet uneducated about the ways of the Goa’uld System Lords. It was right to err on the side of caution. Teal’c found that he was and would remain prepared to take up this risky mission as readily as he did regarding the Waters of Jurata.
The sound of Doctor Fraiser’s footfalls preceded her appearance around a far corner. She walked briskly, her heels clattering on the floor, and she was not alone. General Hammond was at her side, which surprised Teal’c, but pleased him. What did not please him were the expressions on their faces. Beside him, O’Neill and Captain Carter got to their feet as if their movements were coordinated. After a pause, Teal’c also stood, clasping his hands behind his back.
“I’d like you all to come with me,” Doctor Fraiser said without preamble. Her eyes were filled with emotion. “This will be easier to show you than to explain it.”
“Janet?” Captain Carter said.
“Follow me.”
Doctor Fraiser did not wait. She began walking away, as if so much depended on the speed of her gait.
Teal’c allowed the others to go first. Truly, he was conflicted. He wished to understand what was happening, but he was also very apprehensive to know. If he did not have the knowledge, then it could not harm him. His reaction was illogical and not customary for him. With every footfall, his unease grew. The room Doctor Fraiser led them to was stark. Large white panels were on the far wall, and they all moved to stand next to them.
“After Daniel began experiencing pain, we gave him a full body scan,” Doctor Fraiser said. She flicked a switch on one of the panels. It lit up. “X-Rays, MRI, CAT scans. Obviously, we hoped to determine the cause.”
“Yes, obviously,” O’Neill said, impatiently running a hand through his hair. “You found something. What is it, Doc?”
Doctor Fraiser pursed her lips, appearing more distraught than angry, however. Instead of replying, she picked up a film which was sitting on a small metal table. She lifted it up to the lit panel, securing it into place.
As one, every occupant of the room leaned closer. There was a small gasp, but then only silence, thick and heavy, hung in the air. Teal’c clenched his jaw, unhappy with what was so clear on the picture. He did not understand how something such as this could have been missed in prior examinations. Doctor Fraiser and her colleagues had done many on Daniel Jackson in the past weeks.
“Holy crap,” O’Neill said at last. “Is that what I think it is?”
“No,” Doctor Fraiser said. “I know it looks like it, but that is not a Goa’uld symbiote at any stage of maturity. It’s too small and it … doesn’t respond to stimuli.”
Beside him, Captain Carter made a strangled sound deep in the back of her throat. If Teal’c were prone to outward displays of emotion, he had no doubt he would be making similar noises. As it was, his whole being was tense as he stared at the image. The dark shape on Daniel’s spinal cord was thin. It appeared to wind around his vertebrae. It did indeed appear very much like a miniature version of a Goa’uld. He looked away, disturbed.
“What is it, then?” Captain Carter asked.
“It’s a tumor.”
“Cancer?”
“We don’t know for sure at this point. In fact, I’d venture to say it’s not entirely relevant,” Doctor Fraiser said. “Malignant or benign, the fact is this growth is pressing on Daniel’s spinal column. It’s squeezing, and is most definitely the reason for his paralysis.”
O’Neill cursed under his breath.
“I don’t understand, Doctor. Why wasn’t this discovered before now?” General Hammond asked.
The doctor sighed and shook her head. Pulling another film from a folder, she flicked on another panel and placed the new image up. The patient number in the corner was the only way to know this was a picture of the same person.
“This was Daniel’s initial scan,” she said.
“There does not appear to be anything unusual on it,” Teal’c said.
“No, there doesn’t. By all appearances, there was nothing on it,” Doctor Fraiser looked at the image with a frown on her face. “We had no reason to look beyond the first few scans. Everything was clean, and remained clean as we tested him. But when we first read the scan from today, I looked back at the old one more closely. You see this little speck?” She pointed to a spot his vision could barely discern. “I believe that’s the growth. I must have taken it for nothing, a flaw from the machine or on the film, if I even noticed it at all. I honestly don’t remember.”
Teal’c could see she blamed herself for missing something that had not been there. It was not his place to tell her she was incorrect. He suspected that even if he did, she would not accept it. He glanced at his companions, all of whom were in various states of shock. This news was indeed unfortunate, though he was not entirely certain how the doctors would proceed.
“You couldn’t have known,” Captain Carter said. “I still don’t see it, and I’m looking right at it.”
As expected, Doctor Fraiser shook her head.
“How bad is this for Daniel?” O’Neill asked.
“It’s not good, Colonel.” Doctor Fraiser winced as if O’Neill had struck her; he had done no more than look perturbed. “Daniel really has only a few choices. One, he allows us to attempt surgical removal, which is a very delicate procedure and could leave him permanently paralyzed. Two, we try a less invasive technique – radiation could shrink it, but it’s not a guarantee since we don’t even know what it is. The third option is that he doesn’t allow us to attempt surgical removal.” She ceased speaking, but dread was in her eyes.
“What would happen if he chooses that?” Captain Carter prompted.
Doctor Fraiser blanched. “In the span of two weeks, this thing grew from nearly invisible to the naked eye to the size of an earthworm. At this point, I can only guess it’ll keep growing exponentially if left untreated.”
“Which means what?” O’Neill thumped the metal table, sending it crashing to the floor. “We need specifics, here.”
“Which means without some form of treatment, Daniel will likely be dead within a month.”
“Oh, god.”
Teal’c had not even begun to accept his friend as disabled. He had a feeling processing this news would take longer than necessary, that instead of weeks he would have minutes or hours. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Captain Carter lean on the wall heavily, as if her world had become unstable. He locked his knees, knowing the feeling too well himself.
“Daniel understands the risks and has already made his choice. We’re prepping him for emergency surgery right now,” Doctor Fraiser said. “We only need to wait for staff from the SGC to arrive. Doctor Warner has the experience and the proper clearance, in case this turns out to be something more alien.”
Teal’c remembered the last instance Doctor Warner had performed a similar surgery. He looked at O’Neill, whose face betrayed nothing. Teal’c knew, though, that his friend would also be thinking of Major Kawalsky. It was not an encouraging memory, instilling no confidence in him.
“It might be best if you all take the opportunity to speak with him before he’s taken to the OR.”
“What are his odds?” O’Neill asked.
“We’re taking a big risk, sir, huge,” Doctor Fraiser said. “Daniel knows that this could mean permanent paralysis. He was already prepared for that. But this could also be … worse.”
“Worse,” General Hammond repeated. “As in…?”
Doctor Fraiser merely looked pained, giving a short nod.
“So, you’re saying not good then.” O’Neill’s brusque words did nothing to disguise the concern in his tone.
“I’ll take you to him.”
They went as a group, following Doctor Fraiser as ducklings would follow their mother. Teal’c had not thought it possible for the atmosphere to be grimmer than it had been minutes ago, but as they approached Daniel there was nothing but silence. As Daniel smiled at each of them in turn, Teal’c knew there was something he hated more than waiting and that was saying goodbye.
~~*~~
Jack considered himself a man of action. He didn’t like sitting around doing nothing but gazing at this navel and contemplating things that were truly too awful to contemplate. Worse, he couldn’t help thinking about the waiting game he’d played with Charlie. With both Charlies. Thoughts about those times only made his gut ache and his need for movement more intense. He told himself it was okay this time, because he’d gotten a goodbye, such as it was.
“I’m going to get some more coffee,” he said dully. He’d had six cups in the past six hours; he hadn’t even needed the first. “Anyone else want anything?”
Because food and drink was important to any of them at the moment. Carter shook her head, looking away from him as if trying to disguise her watery eyes and red nose. Teal’c just tilted his head, the Jaffa equivalent of a glare, Jack supposed, and resumed his trance-like state. He envied the guy. If Jack could put himself into a trance at the moment, he’d take it. Instead, he was forced to watch the clock. Every tick seemed like it was one less for Daniel in this world.
“I think we’re good, Jack,” Hammond said.
They’d long past the time for formality, and this was another thing that worried him more than it comforted him. He expected Fraiser and Warner to come out, covered in blood and with sad, detached expressions on their faces. Jack had seen it all before. He knew what was more than likely coming, especially after he’d cornered Fraiser and demanded to know hard survival rate numbers.
Twenty percent.
He told himself that Daniel had beaten those odds before. Daniel had been dead before, Jack thought, back when Ra had shot him on Abydos. On Apophis’ ship. A measly little lump of stupid whatever-it-was wasn’t going to take the guy out. Not when he really felt this team was gelling into a strong unit. Not when he really felt Daniel was already a close friend. Contrary, stubborn and wordy as hell, but a damned close friend. A month ago, Jack wouldn’t have even realized that.
He was at the coffee machine without realizing he’d made it all the way there. He’d even dropped in coins and punched in his order without knowing he was doing it. God, Jack couldn’t get Daniel’s harsh gasps of pain, the tightness of the grasp on his forearms, out of his head. The memories flip-flopped with Daniel smiling at them from his rollaway gurney, as he headed into the OR, so calm when Jack was so panicked.
Walking back to the waiting area, it was only when he arrived that he discovered he didn’t bring the cup of bad coffee with him. He found he didn’t care, sitting down on the longer of the two sofas. Then he blinked, and General Hammond no longer sat with them. Not only that, but there was early morning sun streaming in one of the corridor windows creating a bright, giant square on the floor. Jack sat up, muscles stiff. Across the way, Teal’c was looking at him, perched on a puke-brown armchair, goofy hat pulled down low on his forehead.
“Good morning, O’Neill,” Teal’c said.
“Right,” he said. “Daniel?”
“There has been no official word. Doctor Fraiser came some time ago to inform us Daniel Jackson was still ‘under the knife’. She did not wish to wake you.”
“Comforting,” Jack said sarcastically.
“Indeed.”
Grimacing, Jack ran a hand down his face. Carter was on the loveseat, sleeping. Her nose looked to be chronically red and sore. He glanced at his watch. They’d been sitting like useless lumps for ten hours, Daniel in surgery for nine of them, and he couldn’t say when he’d dozed off. He counted himself lucky that he’d managed rest at all. Those where minutes or hours he hadn’t been wracked with concern, and selfishly thought he’d needed them.
Twenty percent.
He knew every second they spent with Daniel’s back wide open on an operating table was a second lessening those odds.
“Hammond?”
“General Hammond departed for the SGC after Doctor Fraiser delivered her news. He instructed me to inform you to call him when Daniel Jackson is out of surgery.”
Right. The first thing he was going to do was find a phone. Jack’s thoughts were snarky, but he truly did appreciate Hammond’s dedication to his people. While the base’s operations clearly had to outweigh anything else, it spoke of the general’s character that he cared this much. The SGC was lucky to have someone like George Hammond at its head.
“I don’t suppose Fraiser said how much longer this could go on.”
“She did not.”
Great. Jack stood, aimlessly circling the small waiting area. He felt Teal’c’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t help it. Every time someone passed in the hall, Jack half-expected it to be Fraiser. It never was. Carter roused about fifteen minutes after Jack had awoken, sitting dumbly with her hair sticking every which way. Something about it broke Jack’s heart a little, having never seen her as anything but forceful in demeanor, a trait probably just as environmental as it was natural. Being a woman in any of the military branches wasn’t a picnic. But that didn’t really matter; he was simply distracting himself.
“Sir,” Carter said.
He looked at her. She was looking at someone else. Jack turned. Fraiser stood in the doorway, Warner directly behind her. Neither of them wore bloody scrubs. This wasn’t the emergency room, he reminded himself.
“Doc?” he croaked.
Fraiser stood there for a moment, exhausted and pale, and Jack’s heart was in his throat until he saw the corners of her mouth lift in a weary smile.
“He’s all right,” Carter breathed.
Fraiser’s smile dropped a hair. “He’s alive. We won’t know for a while yet if he’ll regain the use of his legs.”
Ah, shit. She couldn’t have let them bask in the good news before delivering the potentially bad? Jack scowled for a moment, but then found himself just glad to have Daniel alive. Before, so much had hinged on getting Daniel on two legs again. Now, there was perspective.
“When can we see him?” he said shakily, betraying his cool exterior and true feelings. He didn’t much care.
“You can see him now, if you like, though he’s quite groggy and probably won’t remember you were there. It’ll also have to be one at a time,” Warner said, pushing his way forward. “Doctor Jackson’s been through a long ordeal. I wouldn’t expect him to be aware of much for the next several hours at the least.”
Whatever. Jack didn’t care. He was going in, had to see for himself that Doctor Daniel Jackson was still among the living. He got to the door before he turned around. Carter and Teal’c smiled. Okay, well, Carter practically beamed, while Teal’c looked subdued and pleased in a totally Jaffa kind of way.
Warner escorted him to a room, where he had to put on a disposable gown, cap and mask. Precautions, Jack was told. He impatiently put up with the protocol, knowing in the back of his mind it was there for good reason. No amount of prepping beforehand prepared him to see Daniel, pale, on some kind of contraption that held him prone. But his arms and, Jack swore, his legs, fished around ever so slightly with weak, awkward movements.
“Hey, Daniel,” Jack said. “You’re going to be all right.”
to chapter ten