I understand what you're saying, definitely. John wasn't a perfect father, but he did love his sons and wanted what's best for them. Villifying is bad.

I actually haven't come across too many abusive!John fics, and I've been reading a bunch of pre-series stuff lately. Maybe I am going to right place? I've read some really, really interesting, complex ones.

Would you like a couple of recs? I promise, no abuse, though maybe some mild neglect or misunderstandings.